Monday, 23 December 2013

2012 ‘Tis not what it looks like!

A glass half full or a glass half empty are both correct when the contents are only half way up the mark! And whether it is pessimism or optimism doesn’t depend on just who’s gotta drink the stuff – it really depends on what’s inside the glass. What set out to be a rocking year, the tone of which was set by a ‘bring it with a bang - 40th birthday celebration’, followed by a publishing deal, quickly turned into a year of permanent farewells. My father-in-law passed away just 6 months after my father and the publishing deal fell through as well. Bonds were lost and a couple of times it wasn’t just with those who weren’t living anymore.

If there was a year I can’t wait to get rid of, it should be this. Six half marathons, including a race to the lowest point of the earth, quickly followed by a trek to the base camp of the world’s highest mountain led to the painful discovery of muscles and body parts that I didn’t know existed. What was my pilgrimage - the mountains, the running, the Golden Temple or simply the pain that hasn’t left my good leg for over six months now?

The babies are now firmly on their journey to independence – at 11 and 9, they can bake their own cakes, start and end their own fights and take care of themselves in many ways. Yet they are at crossroads where they have never needed us, the parents more. They make me proud as I watch them become themselves! My little dancer, Gayatri the brat, has finally found the fear of God in her Bharathnatyam teacher. And, my sports star lost her athletic championship after 3 years. Uday has gotten skinnier, but maybe I should be thankful he hasn’t grown any taller this year!

Yet, things are not really as they seem. Looking back, I realise that the only things that I regret are the things that I HAVEN’T done. It is not a tiny bit for the things that I didn’t succeed at, even though I tried. Yes, the pain is there and it’s not all physical. It has slowed me down but it hasn’t stopped me! I am grateful for the benefit of experience and wisdom and I am glad for the determination it has given me.

Even inspiration! Without this pain, I wouldn’t have discovered my love for the sport and finally that purpose that I have been missing, for so long. I am glad the publishing deal fell through because I got another one – with people much nicer. And, less than ten days after losing her championship, Aprajita was accepted by India’s no.1 National Coach for jump athletics.

I had some great moments with my best buddies and in them I know I have the friends who won’t judge me, no matter what I say, because they know better… Best of all the hair colour debate came to an end (though I am still playing it safe with the streaked look).

Yes, some things that leave the glass empty can never quite be refilled like the permanent absence of people. And if 2013 is going to give me just a glass of water, I am going to say the glass is half full, but if it's going to hand out half a glass of vodka, I am kicking up a racket saying, the glass is half empty!

What’s your glass looking like?


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